I have been reading an incredibly entertaining blog for the past few days – www.myveryworstdate.com – that, surprisingly enough, chronicles submitters’ very worst dates. The blog has been around for a while (in internet years), so it has a huge archive of bad date drama which has provided me with hours of entertainment. I cannot stress how much I’ve enjoyed reading this site.
However…if I read the phrase “needless to say” one more time, I’m going to lose it. Why does this phrase exist? The utterance that was supposedly unnecessary never flows logically from what came before it. Let’s ease into it with this example:
My date got up and went over to the bachlorette party table and was started talking to the topless bride-to-be. After a few mintues, they went into the bathroom. And had sex. Two days before her wedding. While I was on a date with him. After they did it, he just came back to our table, sat down, said “Yea, I fucked her” and acted like nothing unusual had just happened. Needless to say, my friends and I were not impressed and I didn’t see him again after that night. (2/25/10)
Well, I’m not impressed with that either, but maybe you’re into that sort of thing. I don’t know you. I’d like to think that no one would be impressed by that, but there are a lot of easily impressed women out there.
She said she wanted to stay the night. Naturally, I asked if she was sure, as I was unsure whether or not I wanted to see her again. But needless to say, the sex was incredible. …Instead of waiting to hear from me, she began to call me, showed up at my house, called me while she is drunk driving and went as far as calling me whilst on another date with another poor soul likely to get duped into the same thing I did. Needless to say, my number was changed and after running into her months down the road I decided to move. (4/14/10)
Twice in one paragraph with neither used correctly! Why would ambivalence towards a potential sexual partner necessarily lead to “incredible” sex? I understand why the submitter thinks it obvious that he changed his phone number, but it’s a necessary part of the story. Without it, I would imagine that this batshit crazy behavior continues to this day. It’s a little sad to think that it’s all over between them and we’ll never hear more, but so it goes.
Finally, my favorite:
Finally, the bill arrived and he asked me for half of it. As we leave, he picks the receipt up and says, “I’ll take this, I can expense it!” Needless to say, I let him make a profit out of the date. (11/11/09)
Huh?
Needless to say (c wut i did thar???), I will continue reading this blog.
christinedepizan
