If we are the Parents Television Council, definitely.
On-air promos for a sexual threesome on an upcoming episode of “Gossip Girl” have spurred the Parents Television Council to ask affiliates of the CW network to pre-empt the show.Airing the teen tryst, which is being teased in an ad as a “3SOME,” is “reckless and irresponsible,” said PTC president Tim Winter in a statement Wednesday. The threesome involves three main characters in the show but they are not identified in the promos.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091105/ap_en_ce/us_tv_gossip_girl_complaint
Let me tell you one thing, motherfucker – you succeed in getting my show pre-empted and I will be an unhappy camper. Do you hear me?? UNHAPPY. CAMPER. If your 12-year-old is watching this show and getting ideas, you need to do a little better policing, asshole. And for the love of God, have your wife give her a talk about proper condom use so she doesn’t become another statistic.
In less-obnoxious but still “huh?” news:
Last week’s episode of “The Office” where Steve Carell’s character tries to scare children by faking a hanging has disturbed suicide prevention groups.The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and other mental health organizations are asking NBC to be more sensitive. They worry that the graphic depiction of Carell struggling in a hangman’s noose might encourage mentally ill people to take their own lives.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091105/ap_en_ot/us_tv_office_noose
Okay, groups: you perform a valuable public service. But this is way too much of a stretch.
Pun not intended.
Categories: annoying · obsessions · your logic does not resemble our earth logic
I was considering purchasing something from an Amazon Marketplace seller yesterday and busied myself browsing through the seller’s ratings. I know that some customers just can’t be satisfied, etc., etc., but I still like to read through the negative reviews to see if I sense a theme.
In this case, the only theme was that this seller seems to attract crazy people. One purchaser was extremely upset that the DVD set he had bought did not have subtitles…for which he blamed not the manufacturer, but the seller.
WTF?
Then, like magic, the seller’s response:
We can not add subtitles to a DVD only because you claim you are Christian.
Not as clearly and pointedly written as I would like, but still pretty classic. How I wish it were written, “We cannot add subtitles to any DVDs for you, even if you claim to be Christian”! Or, perhaps: “Just because you claim to be a Christian does not mean we can re-manufacture a DVD and add subtitles for you.”
Or the seller could go even simpler: “We don’t manufacture these, dipshit.”
Categories: editing · life lessons · your logic does not resemble our earth logic
Under the pretense of seeking frank criticism, he is probably trusting that his friends will do the correct social thing, which is to offer encouragement to amateur efforts, which at any rate, they cannot politely squash out of existence.
Many people make that false request for frankness, leaving Miss Manners with the task of persuading their friends not to give them what they deserve. As you say, it would be cruel, and it would be pointless.
However, false encouragement would probably be more successful than you care to have it be. This is the time to fall back on irrelevant enthusiasm, such as “I could tell you were having fun.”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/22/AR2009092203904_2.html
I love that “irrelevant enthusiasm” has now been officially recognized as a social tactic. It always was a helpful tactic, but I’ve never seen anyone label the scheme so precisely before. Not even you, Liz Lemon! (Although you really acted it out well. “The programs were really easy to read!” plus a hug, indeed!)
Categories: happiness · laughing · life lessons
“Marriage is a vital social institution,” the reading began. “The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.”
So touching, so true, and so universal—who could argue with those sentiments? Everyone at the wedding was nodding. And the reading continued…
“It is undoubtedly for these concrete reasons, as well as for its intimately personal significance, that civil marriage has long been termed a ‘civil right.’ Without the right to choose to marry, one is excluded from the full range of human experience.”
After the reading—which was done by a gay friend of the couple—the officiant identified the source: It was from the 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court decision that legalized same-sex marriage in that state.
http://www.avclub.com/articles/october-7-2009,33767/
Categories: happiness · law · victories
October 30, 2009 · 1 Comment
Many states declare students to have grade-level mastery of reading and math when they do not, the Education Department reported Thursday.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091029/ap_on_bi_ge/us_schools_low_standards
I think the problem can be summed up with “most parents are all for proficiency exams…until their own little Jimmy or Jenny fails.” When a high school diploma means less than nothing and a college degree little more, why mess with our own brand of success? Just keep passing people until they’re completely out of their depth. It’ll be just like promotions in management!
Categories: crying · facepalm · your logic does not resemble our earth logic
No, not that kind of boob. Just to prove that we haven’t moved past Victorian ideals of female modesty:
The ABC affiliate here is airing a two-part series that takes a close — and unobscured — look at breast self-exams. The series is airing during the fall “sweeps” period critical for a TV station’s ad revenue, prompting concern by a parental watchdog group.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091030/ap_on_bi_ge/us_breasts_on_tv
So the parental watchdog group is only concerned if it’s for ad revenue…otherwise, it’s fine? I’m so confused.
“We hope that WJLA-TV is not using a crucial public health issue as a ratings stunt, and that the station has fully considered what is appropriate to tell this important story to the public in the most suitable manner possible,” the group said in a statement. That might mean different versions of the story at 5 p.m. and at 11 p.m., it added.
Oh, get the fuck over it! More than half of us have breasts. They’re really not that big a deal. They sit on our chests and do not distract us…until we have to worry about whether they’re harboring cancer. Show the fucking breasts in the middle of the day so that women will actually know how to perform breast self-exams correctly! Who could possibly give a shit?
Categories: annoying · facepalm · medical diagnoses
Last month two men and their teenage sons tackled one of the world’s most unforgiving summertime hikes: the Grand Canyon’s parched and searing Royal Arch Loop. Along with bedrolls and freeze-dried food, the inexperienced backpackers carried a personal locator beacon — just in case. In the span of three days, the group pushed the panic button three times, mobilizing helicopters for dangerous, lifesaving rescues inside the steep canyon walls.
What was that emergency? The water they had found to quench their thirst “tasted salty.”
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091025/ap_on_re_us/us_yuppie911
I hope these idiots have to pay for the “rescue” costs.
Categories: annoying · facepalm · your logic does not resemble our earth logic
In today’s competitive job market, you need to show hiring managers that you can make an immediate contribution to a new employer. Including your biggest professional successes in the “Accomplishments” section of your resume is an effective way to do just that. But keep in mind that any achievement you cite should be a) truly noteworthy, b) relevant to your current career goals and c) relatively recent. Far too often, job seekers miss the mark.
http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/career-articles-_accomplishments_to_leave_off_your_resume-986
There are a bunch of really obvious “don’ts” listed (e.g., proofread your resume, don’t make crazy or unverifiable claims, etc.), but there was one category that was hilarious:
The Not-So-Notable Accomplishment
- “Maintained a 2.0 GPA.”
- “I get along with coworkers.”
- “Overcame procrastination.”
You know, for some of us, these are REALLY BIG ACCOMPLISHMENTS. STOP BELITTLING ME, YAHOO HOTJOBS.
(for the record, my accomplishment is: “Successfully avoided kicking anyone in the teeth for 44 straight days.” I could talk that one up for hours!!!)
Categories: laughing · life lessons · useful
One of President Barack Obama’s top aides says Fox News Channel acts like a wing of the Republican Party.
Um…duh.
White House Communications Director Anita Dunn told CNN’s “Reliable Sources” on Sunday that Fox News operates “almost as either the research arm or the communications arm of the Republican Party.”
“We like to think of ourselves as the brain arm, we’ll have you know!”
It’s another sign of the White House’s aggressively going after Fox.
Commentators Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity have been strong Obama critics, and Bill O’Reilly has taken tough looks at the administration. The president avoided Fox when he visited five Sunday morning news shows last month, and a recent White House blog post accused Beck of lying.
The President probably avoided Fox because he was visiting news shows (zing!). Who gives a shit that these people are critical of Obama? They’re critical of everyone who’s not right of batshit crazy on the political spectrum. Big fucking deal.
Fox News executive Michael Clemente (cleh-MEN’-tay) says most viewers know the difference between news and opinion shows. He says attacking the messenger doesn’t work.
Well-played, Clemente – you never actually have to say which category your shows fall in! Clever, clever. Don’t hurt yourself.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091012/ap_on_en_tv/us_tv_obama_fox
Categories: annoying · laughing · your logic does not resemble our earth logic
The plight of baby boomers and retirees has been well-documented in the year after the financial meltdown. But for people in their 20s and 30s who have a good job and feel it’s secure, this is the best of times.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091005/ap_on_bi_ge/us_meltdown_generation_gap
Who the fuck does this apply to? No one I know.
“Best of times,” my ass. Unless you’re going to finish the Dickensian allusion, you’ve got it dead wrong.
Categories: crying · facepalm · life lessons
